HDO 301 | Second Blog Entry
There have been a lot of conflicts in my life, as I'm sure is the same for many others. Conflict is unfortunately unavoidable, but I definitely consider it to be a potential growth experience. My most recent conflict had to do with my romantic partner.
Recently I have begun loading up my schedule and it is pretty tightly packed. I am a full-time student with there jobs and a significant load of extracurricular activities. Although I don't always feel that I am "overdoing" it, the people in my life I am closest to are often able to recognize it. My partner pointed out that he hadn't seen me at all last week because I was on campus from 8am to 10pm almost every day. It was something that I hadn't even realized because I had been so busy jumping from one activity to the next. While having a stacked schedule is something that I love and a good way for me to feel productive, it takes away from other important areas of my life.
I was frustrated because I felt as though I was doing things that only positively impacted my life and that my partner should be more supportive. He felt as though it would eventually wear me down and that I would have less energy for other things as time went on. There were valid points on both sides but we couldn't seem to 100% agree with the other's argument. Thinking back to the Power and Negotiation article, I was able to consider the short-term and long-term effects of the argument. If I were to "win," eventually my partner would feel neglected or unimportant in my life. If he were to "win,' I would feel like I had to give up everything I was passionate about. In the end, we decided the best option was to compromise and keep an open line of communication.
Taking it a step further, I'd consider our relationship to fall under communal sharing. In this case, neither of us is above the other. There is no sense of hierarchy in the relationship and we don't track who does what. Because of this, we must come together to make decisions regarding our relationship, rather than one person domineering the conversation and outcome. Within this type of relationship, there does exist a desire for conformity which can be difficult when you are trying to both hold your ground and appease your partner. I feel like HDO 301 adds labels to things we experience every day. I wouldn't necessarily go around labeling my relationship as communal sharing but it does fit the description and does affect the way we make decisions.
In the end, I reduced my hours at work and learned not to say "yes" to everything so that I wasn't overwhelming my schedule. Since then I have had a better-balanced life and have been able to spend time with my partner but still leave enough room to keep all the activities I love participating in. Neither of us really had more power in the situation, we had to learn how to negotiate a solution. Our back-and-forth allowed us to come up with a solution we were both comfortable with and neither of us truly felt like we were "losing."
Recently I have begun loading up my schedule and it is pretty tightly packed. I am a full-time student with there jobs and a significant load of extracurricular activities. Although I don't always feel that I am "overdoing" it, the people in my life I am closest to are often able to recognize it. My partner pointed out that he hadn't seen me at all last week because I was on campus from 8am to 10pm almost every day. It was something that I hadn't even realized because I had been so busy jumping from one activity to the next. While having a stacked schedule is something that I love and a good way for me to feel productive, it takes away from other important areas of my life.
I was frustrated because I felt as though I was doing things that only positively impacted my life and that my partner should be more supportive. He felt as though it would eventually wear me down and that I would have less energy for other things as time went on. There were valid points on both sides but we couldn't seem to 100% agree with the other's argument. Thinking back to the Power and Negotiation article, I was able to consider the short-term and long-term effects of the argument. If I were to "win," eventually my partner would feel neglected or unimportant in my life. If he were to "win,' I would feel like I had to give up everything I was passionate about. In the end, we decided the best option was to compromise and keep an open line of communication.
Taking it a step further, I'd consider our relationship to fall under communal sharing. In this case, neither of us is above the other. There is no sense of hierarchy in the relationship and we don't track who does what. Because of this, we must come together to make decisions regarding our relationship, rather than one person domineering the conversation and outcome. Within this type of relationship, there does exist a desire for conformity which can be difficult when you are trying to both hold your ground and appease your partner. I feel like HDO 301 adds labels to things we experience every day. I wouldn't necessarily go around labeling my relationship as communal sharing but it does fit the description and does affect the way we make decisions.
In the end, I reduced my hours at work and learned not to say "yes" to everything so that I wasn't overwhelming my schedule. Since then I have had a better-balanced life and have been able to spend time with my partner but still leave enough room to keep all the activities I love participating in. Neither of us really had more power in the situation, we had to learn how to negotiate a solution. Our back-and-forth allowed us to come up with a solution we were both comfortable with and neither of us truly felt like we were "losing."
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